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Suchhh a bummer ! This bum infliction ( peri ana

Suchhh a bummer !

This bum infliction ( peri anal abscess ) was created in the psych wards years back now that awful time! Not surprised.. just a shame it’s not straight forward to get rid of!

It got infected after 3 days work at a cafe 😰🤪🤪🤪

Navigating this with BIND was 😰😫🤯😱😶‍🌫️ ( benzodiazepine induced neurological disorder ) it’s becoming a thing now you can google which is helpful!

But it was met with respect ✊ this time ( only time ) … think the letter helped 🙏🏼♥️ they love a letter.

Kate 😇 Angel 👼 I don’t know what I would do without her in this and my friends in general ♥️ thanks for all the support 😘

I like to share these things, as it’s life isn’t it. These things happen, soo grateful for🔑 key friendships in these moments. Kate 🙏🏼 made this experience manageable! And I’m someone who likes to create connection through this platform that we are all addicted too 🤪 .. especially in these moments. It almost gets me through, and makes me feel less alone to document it like this. Also I really feel sharing is caring heh heh

Also to celebrate 🥳 the fact I got over a SEVERE phobia of Drs and nurses, it’s not totally peaceful but I did it… I guess that’s what the pain of a peri anal abscess will do.

Sexy stuff! However Iv accepted maybe single life is just my jam for now 😂 so il talk about my bumhole on instagram if I want to.

Iv been reminded that health is everything yet again, and the fragility of that, grateful for breath. And that living a life of having to take things easier than usual over the last few years is ok! However I would like bum back so I can get on with keeping a roof over my head 🙏🏼

Thank you to everyone who reached out 😘🥰😘🥰

Love Em

♥️

#perianalabcess #fistula #benzowithdrawal #healing #medicalgaslighting #prescribedharm #psychward

Soul wonderings of recent.. Iv been being brave

Soul wonderings of recent..

Iv been being brave and moved to Devon 🍃 on my own, seems to be a lot of solo journeying for me over this last year. However always with the 🐶 so never really alone..

I’m starting a new chapter of learning.. a path towards being of service..

Creative projects always on the go, however really held up by 💵 and the lack of .. at the moment. I struggle getting things finished due to money, as I’m not money driven.. sadly though we do need money. So I reframe it more in my mind! I’m soooo ready inside! To record my album to put on my one woman show. But the funds no matter how many efforts made and risks taken have not appeared .. yet! Still time 🕰️

However I feel very much at peace here in Devon.. reflective.. and I can feel the huge healing power of nature all the time these days. It’s like my soul needs it to survive.

So far.. I’ve shared many special moments to keep.. met special people.. gone down the rabbit hole 🕳️.. as the Cheshire Cat heh heh .. making a beautiful home 🏠

Been in the mystical lands of Glastonbury.. Iv been studying what it is to be a therapist .. and with that much inner looking .. 👀 which is now going into a deeper phase.. as I close off one phase I felt to ..

..share an Excercise I did on phrases said to me when young that still stick in the mind.. made into a rather fetching T .. I guess an analogy as it’s the words you still feel you wear everyday .. from your youth. How they affect you now? How do they manifest..

Sharing my process 🍃

Society hasn’t done the best job gearing many humans up to really know what happiness is. Or how to parent.. or how to be a kind human being. That’s all a huge topic 😂 so I like to share snippets mixed in with some realness .. so the insta facade isn’t too strong. 🤣 as the learning is never over for anyone 🍃 no one’s life is perfect

Authenticity 🙏🏼🙏🏼 so needed in the digi world of comparison !.. we don’t need shiny things to be successful. It’s the simple things 🍃♥️

Love E x 🍃🐶

#process #healing #mentalhealthawareness #nature #bullying #parenting #thesimplethings #authenticity #nooneslifeisperfect #comparison

A montage of selftape auditions over ten years fro

A montage of selftape auditions over ten years from 27to 37!

To celebrate 🍾 10 years! ..Of putting myself out there for all this time, the countless rejections! With also booking amazing jobs over the years. Wether it’s an advert or film I’m grateful 🙏🏼

I’m so glad I followed acting, with sooo many telling me how competitive it was or how unlikely it would be to get somewhere with it, however I still stuck strong.

For me it was also about breaking out of my box, to become more free in myself, acting training taught me soo much, and it allowed me to break through early conditionings. I knew I needed to follow the path wherever it took me ..

Simply to be a more open and free version of myself is a gift in itself.

I had people tell me I’d make no money from it however.. for 7 years of it ( pre pandemic ) I made a great living that allowed me to have a dreamy lifestyle. And still now as it starts to resurface after everything I went through with heath, the strikes, the pandemic, it still serves some magic 🪄 I love that you never know what opportunities will come your way ✨ some life changing!

However the instability when it’s not in a good flow is very challenging.. to say the least 😥 The way the world has changed has had a big impact too and now it has been much harder with self tapes being predominantly the main way to audition. Surrendering is the only way..

…you soon learn it really is a game of luck as well as talent.. looking at my old tapes makes me cringe to my core 😂 but really aww bless her! Giving it my best shot 🥹

Looking back I’m soo pleased I devoted myself to it and trained like I did. I wouldn’t be the person I am now. I genuinely feel that children / young adults, would greatly benefit from having this kind of training more integrated Into the ancient school curriculum.

Acting training is really about connection to yourself and others - endless learning 👌🏼🍃🍃🍃🍃

Important to keep coming back to not taking it soo seriously, have fun with it.

♥️

#actorslife #followyourdreams #selftapes #auditions

Taken 10 years ago! By @marieefrancesca 👌🏼✨ photographer extraordinaire ✨

In Ibiza the second home 🏠 the light 🥰

It’s been years of procrastination and low self belief when it comes to music. Music is soo healing whether it’s just for yourself or you decide to share it with others. I look back and think urgh if only I had the perspective I do now. However it’s all part of the journey ; )

And that is to just enjoy it, it doesn’t have to be anything, for anyone else. Share your ideas 💡 it’s ok to make mistakes and sing out of key, the key is really just to enjoy.

Sharing it now comes from a place of enjoyment, I’m not trying to be ‘ famous ‘ or make money from it, more tapping into that place where I feel the healing process of music. Ideally I’d love to be able to make more of it and that involves money 💴 more money to make more art 🙏🏼✨heh heh

I go from .. not wanting to appear like a show off 👀 look at me look at me.. to no actually I just really enjoy sharing art. The earth needs a lot of help and love, I often feel is it self absorbed to go on this musical journey when there’s soo much else to focus on, however it is my way of sharing healthy vibrations, frequencies are powerful, and underestimated. Music and sound is soo powerful 🙏🏼

I Genuinely love making videos always have. The intention behind it all is really connection. To bring people together in a healing space. The more we become who we really were always meant to be, past our conditionings, the healthier our frequency is for further generations to come ☺️🙏🏼

It is fascinating that each one of us is born with gifts to share would be a shame not to share them ☺️

School report when 7 years - ‘ Emma is shy in class and keeps herself to herself, however when she plays the guitar I see a totally different side to her, she’s more peaceful, she has a natural musical ability, I would encourage her to play music more ‘

Cute 🥹

🪷 The Lotus symbolising rising from the ground up into full bloom, transformation 🍃

#creativeprocess #musicislife #youdoyou #singersongwriter #ibiza #procrastination #beyou

‘Stories from the Psych ward’ for Suicide prev

‘Stories from the Psych ward’ for Suicide prevention day /month

( may be a day late not sure better late than never ;) 🤷🏼‍♀️😌

A poem written for the one woman show I wrote. ‘ Shaping Us ‘ - The songs in the show vary some light ☀️ some 🌚 show is in the mix step by step to get it up for a run.

Here’s a snippet 💇‍♀️

For anyone struggling or have experienced the wrath of psych wards feel free to reach out. I’m here to listen ♥️

I have been dragged through the system due to medical negligence and got a full all round experience 🥴 ended up in there almost being drugged to death.

Important to share these stories, and know you are not alone. In my case.. I was suffering soo bad from the medication itself, which gave me suicidal ideation it can be a medication creation, I wanted to get away from the suffering soo bad.

In many psych wards your treated like a criminal for having suicidal thoughts.. the opposite of what someone needs in a time of crisis. It is archaic!

The abuse in psych wards is reallll.

Sometimes we have to talk about the dark and bring it into the light 🙌🏼🌱

Only ♥️

#suicidepreventionmonth #medicalgaslighting #benzowithdrawal #healingjourney #prescribedharm #musicislife #psychward

The Drive - from Alicante Spain 🇪🇸 to Wiltsh

The Drive - from Alicante Spain 🇪🇸 to Wiltshire UK🇬🇧 solo 🐶🍃

I drove to Spain fleeing the UK thinking surely I’d get residency with my Dad out there. I felt like it would be a yes, sadly it wasn’t.

Instead of ibiza plans & setting up a new life, I ended up in limbo on a mountain in mainland Spain, waiting for each residency application to go through, I also suffered a terrifying set back after my drive to Spain was bed bound for 2 months. It felt safer to stay put, till I got residency.

Financially since the pandemic I’ve been hit hard. Iv had to navigate where to be whilst tapering, timing the moment I come off each med, important to be somewhere where I have support.
Once your hit with debilitating symptoms, you can’t do anything.

The nervous system goes through a lot once you’re iatrogenicly harmed, the symptoms are terrifying, too much stimulation causes them to fire up. So it was a big risk driving like this. However I couldn’t afford the UK, living, tapering/healing. I had hoped I wouldn’t need to drive back..but Brexit is what it is..a tragedy.

I found a place on a mountain, I surrendered, I waited & hoped. I got off the Quetiapine 🙌🏼 I can now say this 🙌🏼 as I come to my 4 month mark being off. This drug was given in psych wards, due to severe psychosis caused by chronic insomnia, inner terror & 100z of symptoms caused by the lorazepam ( given for tinnitus : 0 ) Drs tend to treat the side effects of one drug with another.

The Quetiapine did not stop the lorazepam withdrawal, it made my heart feel like a 90 year old, my body like lead, it was so hard to taper, I would feel like I was having a stroke amongst numerous other feelings not of this world. But ! I got off it! 400mg - 0mg took 2.5 years. And I managed to be somewhere calm and safe for my last dose 🙌🏼

I devoted this limbo time and beautiful scenery to my music, I made a music room, and set up a studio, I wrote songs all day, taught myself a lot.

Sharing my process, & to show the body is an incredible healer !
Yup this is long, but f**k the algorithm ; )

I now offer coaching & support to those coming off or harmed by psych meds♥️

#benzowithdrawal #medicalgaslighting

So much ♥️ @medicinefestival 🍃 Soo many go

So much ♥️ @medicinefestival 🍃

Soo many good talks, music and workshops 🪶

Met some great people and bumped into old friends 🥰

A much needed experience of community and people coming together ♥️🙏🏼 in peace ☮️

With ☮️ being the theme - so good to really feel the good parts of human nature as a collective.. rather than the bad

I tried not using my phone at all, soo just caught a few snap shots 🍃🪶 the group of kids wanted me to tag them for social media as Mango Lassi but couldnt find them.. 🥹☺️♥️

For me it’s my favourite kind of festival ☺️♥️ Ideally I want life to be on a similar vibration 🌱

No alcohol, more wisdom 🙏🏼🪶 and just ♥️

#medicinefestival #community #love #kindness #togetherness #alcholfree #sober

A song I wrote - ‘ Who am I ‘ ( live version )

A song I wrote - ‘ Who am I ‘ ( live version ) - full version on YouTube via my linktree, links 🔗 ⬆️ it’s on Spotify, Apple Music, and ITunes under Ema Music - Who am I 😘

🪶

Take it as a first draft, In me sharing the process in getting my work recorded / produced. I simply don’t have the funds right now to record this song in any other way. But wanted to share it for now.

A song written from a place of remembering who I was in a very challenging time. Also feeling that freedom of peace within after not having it for a very long time.

For anyone who’s lost their way 🍃

‘ After being sectioned 3 times within 6 months, as well as going through huge amounts of physical and mental torture due to the withdrawal from a dangerous medication, given and wrongly advised to take by a Dr... I certainly yearned for peace and to run free for a very long time. I thought it would never come. The healing has been 4 years so far. And this song has been part of my healing. Spreading awareness whilst also not forgetting who I am in the process. Im set to be free of this medication after a verrryyy slow micro taper off it, this October 2024 ‘ 🙌🏼 then it’s out of my life, I’m very much letting it all go now - just giving context to where this song came from - onwards to more healthy happy dayz

It’s not purfect but for now ; )

Love E x

#healingjourney #prescribedharm #musicislife #medicalgaslighting #benzowithdrawal #storyteller #singersongwriter #whoami #lifeseeker #perfectionist #dowhatmakesyoucringe #startbeforeyoureready #musician

@heartwoodfestival appreciation post soo much fun!

@heartwoodfestival appreciation post soo much fun! The energy was full of love 🥰 I enjoyed every moment.

And met lots of beautiful souls 🍃🌻

Amazing music 🎶

Went to various interesting workshops
@cyclicalessence
@thesecretsauceangel
And more who I don’t have their instas 🍃

And danced for hours until my legs trembled 🍃💃

Iv documented my outfits heh heh - always dress up ; ) I got out all my garmmz from burning man.. ( I know I know soo cliche.. however.. it is actually really good ) .. and glad I made that early investment pre pandemic 😂😅

A special festival for sure 🙏🏼 thank you @florenceantoniacannon and Charles for creating such a hub of love ♥️🍃🥹

Festivals have always been a must - For the feelings of freedom, healing and good connections, to drop out of reality for a few days, this one will be remembered 🙏🏼 If only everyday was like a festival 🤔

I’d go as far to say festivals are a mental health must.. should be on the school curriculum.

🦊

#heartwoodfestival #specialmoments #makingmemories #dressup #festivaloutfit #healingspace #mentalhealthmatters

‘ Listen ‘ - a poem I wrote - 🎧 for best li

‘ Listen ‘ - a poem I wrote - 🎧 for best listening 🪄to pre save this on Spotify the link is ⬆️ with me other links 🔗🌹

Would love to get this properly recorded / produced - but for now here’s to not being a perfectionist.

- Full version also on my YouTube 🌹

Felt to share in these turbulent times.

What would love have you do ? ♥️🍃

#listen #poetry #peace #whatwouldlovedo #youknowwhattodo #kindness #bekind #takecareofeachother #singersongwriter #kindnesswins #equality #takecare #mentalhealth #sensitivityisastrength #vulnerability

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