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Just playing around 🤗 reminicing on summer mome

Just playing around 🤗 reminicing on summer moments .. felt cute might delete later 🤣

Quote -

‘Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and being alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth.
You have to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes too near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself that you tasted as many as you could. ~Louise Erdrich’

Looking back at the summer whilst going into the winter 🥶 .. missing the heat and the sun kissed feeling, wanting to capture that feeling : ) wondering how I will survive in the UK 🇬🇧 without sun, and minimal inspiration in the winter months

I was Improvising on the looper, why not? I still need to get it set up in my new abode, I need a table! And at the moment that is a costly affair.

This video made me cringe to the depths of my core so I never shared it, so I choose to share it now .. 🤣 I just thoughts it’s shite, as I was just playing about in the moment.. lyrics are just what they are.. 🍃

Addd a BASEY beat.. and maybe it could be somethin

…When you meet someone and they catch your ♥️ from the start.

A fine thing that is indeed!

And a rare thing ..

❤️‍🔥💔❤️‍🔥

#looping #songwriting #improvising #cringe #tan #girlswithguitars #heartbreak #fallinginlove

Maybe some helpful validation?🤷🏼‍♀️ T

Maybe some helpful validation?🤷🏼‍♀️

The life of a creative 😶‍🌫️⚡️.. or anyone 🫠 starts 🌚 dark gets light 💡

I wrote these over time - what I’ve experienced as I create my own work - and from a life following the creatives route! .. from my note section - iPhone special 🍃

… ‘You look tired’

‘I am tired’ 😂

Some times we have to bring the dark into the light 💡to validate the life obstacles 🧘🏼‍♀️

We’ve got one life..
Don’t let them waste it.

Love Em ♥️💃

#thoughtsoftheday #creativewriting #mentalhealth #gaslighting #doingyourdreams #obstacles #sabotage #jealousy #shiningbright #findtheothers #youdoyou #doyourdreams #healingjourney #validation #darkandlight #wisdomseeker #reachforthestars #youonlyliveonce #dontletanyonebringyoudown #letgo #makemistakes #perfectisboring #imtired #theresenoughforeveryone #scarcitymindset #believe #breakfree #creativityiskey #artmatters #familydysfunction

Into the winter we go 🥶 Devon skys 🍃 some bi

Into the winter we go 🥶 Devon skys 🍃 some bits and bobs- it’s been my 38th birthday ! More Musical adventures, continued delving into recording my own work still in the midst, many songs!

London filming for the documentary What’s Up Doc? Hanging out with Talulah and the family : ) the best 🤩 and her sock hands 🥹.

Some important reading as I get into the life of a training therapist, lovely gifts from special chicas, as well as looking into health more, as I continue to heal from the iatrogenic harm, looking into food 🥘 and where it’s coming from, which these days seems very hazy 😨🥕 all in all though these are special moments to keep ♥️🌷🍃

Feeling the struggle at the moment, mainly finances, and health. Both connected. With the operation has come some healing time where I cant do lots of psychical work, lifting, running around etc, and the part time work iv so far sourced has all been that type of psychical. So calling in something that keeps things ticking over as I create 🙏🏼 that isn’t going to break my body in half 😂

And! Boundaries! My my as I get older this is something I am really putting in place, especially when you learn from life, and negative energy that can come at you, I’ve had to dance on the line of being soft and accepting vs actually that’s not ok, saying that’s not ok I find hard. I have come to believe ( through life learnings ) ..in not telling people how to be, however hard at times, instead allowing them to be who they are, let life unfold for them, however.. I find people take advantage of that softer approach and push the boundaries .. and end up being really controlling and unkind. It’s a huge age of comparison, and I feel the wrath of others misery very much so! As I have tended to reach for the stars ✨ with that though comes many a nay sayer.

Thank you to all those that encourage me 🙏🏼

Nothing is what it seems… 🍃😏🥕

That’s it for now heh heh 😏

P.S almost 2 weeks freeee of the medication that almost killed me so far so good. Will be doing celebration post when it’s been a couple of months and it’s actually sunk in 😂🙏🏼♥️

#momentstokeep #memories #mentalhealth #natureheals #reading #musicislife #boundaries

Finding it hard to find an emotionally intelligent

Finding it hard to find an emotionally intelligent and available man? Who doesn’t need you to be perfect. Heh heh 😏 🎃👻🎃👻🎃
#metoo .. full song on my YouTube : ) via the linktree ⬆️ ✨

🪽 wing clipping also terrible buisness, I tend to be soo free spirited and occasionally feral, I often find guys who want me to be this perfect thing that never smells and has a bald vagina. Perfect toe nails and sits quietly in agreement. Sorryyy I’m not your girl.

Never settle 😏

My last celebration of this project : ) ‘ I Wanna Get Deep ‘ 😏

Co director and camera woman 🔥 @jessicajackboyd 🔥

Was fun to make an idea 💡 a reality. And to also go outside the box ..in a way.. is it speaking.. singing.. ? story telling? Who cares.. Not trying to fit into a genre. The what’s your genre is always tough for me.

Each project I am learning and thinking ok how can I make the next one better. Ideally an amazing collaboration/ recording studio. This was tough for me to share due to not being happy with the track but also not yet having the next 🔑 to the 🔐 lock.

But I shared it anyway, I knew it wasn’t sounding as good as it could or nowhere near tbh. But I felt that and let it go. Otherwise it could have been another year or two this video would have been doormant.

Calling more funds and collaboration into it all. So then ideally the tracks and vocals sounds richhhh and warm less tinny. From ye old garage band. To be continued…

Till next time ; ) 😍😏

#doyourideas #emotionallyunavailable #singersongwriter #musicislife #selfexpression

Communication is the key no? Modern dating😅🔑

Communication is the key no? Modern dating😅🔑 heh heh 🎃
Full video via YouTube via my ⬆️ linktree

Red Dress @thevampireswife 🧛
( borrowed from co director and camera woman @jessicajackboyd ) now really want one!

This was really fun to make, the fun is the creation 🙏🏼

It was a poem that turned into this, hence it sort of being a song that’s also spoken / story - an idea 💡 I think it’s good to just do your ideas. In the past I have sat on them. Being purely creative I almost need to create for my survival. All the ideas getting stuck in my body with nowhere to go gets quite painful 🤯😂

From being on the high end of the emotionally intelligent spectrum ( perhaps too hyper aware, or perhaps not ) I do get ever so frustrated, finding a partner who can meet where I’m at .. men rise 🙏🏼😂

Insta is a bit of a black hole and I’m sure if I listed a picture of me looking ‘ pretty ‘ or some such insta type post. I’d get a whole load more connection. Usually from men asking for a coffee. That’s a whole other topic.

Its really not about the likes though, it’s far from that when it comes to being an artist, or sharing your work, it’s about the creative flow of creating conversations, collaborations and connections, sharing art, ideas and building that energy exchange.

And that’s what I would like to call in to my page more 🙏🏼 that’s surely what this platform is for right? Rather than narcissism? 😅😂🤔 mmm one does wonder…

Here’s to celebrating each others art and creations more on this platform 🙏🏼♥️ I’m celebrating creating this as it was lots of funnnnn heh heh 😏

#thoughtsoftheday #communication #connection #freespirit #makingart #narcassistawareness #musicislife #emotionallyunavailable #art #love #singersongwriter

I Wanna Get Deep - Halloween special 🎃 Full vid

I Wanna Get Deep - Halloween special 🎃 Full video via my YouTube link 🔗 tree 👆🏻 above 👻

Inspired by my string of emotionally unavailable men, not all .. but a few ; ) my reminder to never let a man cut my wings 🪽 ever again… heh heh 😏

Co directors @jessicajackboyd and Ema
Camera woman - Jess Boyd
Master location scouter - Jess Boyd
Written & edited by - Ema

I obviously do not condone violence of any kind.. this is a bitta pulling your leg kinda stuff ; )

Wanted to get this track produced properly and more passazyy with all the bells, but for now I’m learning and doing it myself due to funds / people.

Love Em 😘

#emotionallyunavailable #breakup #fallinginlove #singer #singersongwriter #musicislife #love #halloween #darkcomedy #comedy #comedyreels #whatislove #sayitlikeitis #bereal #realrecognizesreal #feral

Restings of recent 🍃 Can’t do too much with

Restings of recent 🍃

Can’t do too much with bum infliction but getting there!

Loving Home 🏠 and guitar time 🎸

Been forced to pause 🙏🏼😅

Surprise flowers 🌺 😍 ! Who sent them? How lovely 🥰 thank you 🙏🏼

Been feeling a bit defeated 😞 but still want to finish my projects, songs, show etc and just in general feel like I’m getting somewhere with sharing my work or just get somewhere… that place where things are in flow, art, money, collaboration, that lovely wave 🌊🍃

I’ve been trying to create the flow.. and catch the wave.. get it back 🌊 .. it was in full force pre pandem… but that’s then.. new energy now..

..then I realise I’ve actually done loads.. considering everything.. even if it feels I’m getting nowhere .. and maybe I’m exactly where I need to be 🤔😅😂🤯 doing some serious dusting off of all the shit 💩 in my frequency 🍃 and forever grateful for breath ♥️

Just been a lot of obstacles.. soo many that I almost don’t want to leave the house 😑😫 in fear of more 😂🤯

So I’m refreshing my frequency with some self care. Radical acceptance 🧘🏼‍♀️😅

#selfcare

Suchhh a bummer ! This bum infliction ( peri ana

Suchhh a bummer !

This bum infliction ( peri anal abscess ) was created when I was wrongly diagnosed and locked in the psych wards years back now that awful time! Not surprised.. just a shame it’s not straight forward to get rid of!

It got infected after 3 days work at a cafe 😰🤪🤪🤪

Navigating this with BIND was 😰😫🤯😱😶‍🌫️ ( benzodiazepine induced neurological disorder ) it’s becoming a thing now you can google which is helpful! ( medication was given out where it should not of been it was negligence and I was taking for tinnitus! )

But it was met with respect ✊ this time ( only time ) … think the letter helped 🙏🏼♥️ they love a letter.

Kate 😇 Angel 👼 I don’t know what I would do without her in this and my friends in general ♥️ thanks for all the support 😘

I like to share these things, as it’s life isn’t it. These things happen, soo grateful for🔑 key friendships in these moments. Kate 🙏🏼 made this experience manageable! And I’m someone who likes to create connection through this platform that we are all addicted too 🤪 .. especially in these moments. It almost gets me through, and makes me feel less alone to document it like this. Also I really feel sharing is caring heh heh

Also to celebrate 🥳 the fact I got over a SEVERE phobia of Drs and nurses, it’s not totally peaceful but I did it… I guess that’s what the pain of a peri anal abscess will do.

Sexy stuff! ..il talk about my bumhole on instagram if I want to.

Iv been reminded that health is everything yet again, and the fragility of that, grateful for breath. And that living a life of having to take things easier than usual over the last few years is ok! However I would like bum back so I can get on with keeping a roof over my head 🙏🏼

Thank you to everyone who reached out 😘🥰😘🥰

Love Em

♥️

#perianalabcess #fistula #benzowithdrawal #healing #medicalgaslighting #prescribedharm #psychward

Soul wonderings of recent.. Iv been being brave

Soul wonderings of recent..

Iv been being brave and moved to Devon 🍃

I’m starting a new chapter of learning.. a path towards being of service..

Creative projects always on the go, however really held up by 💵 and the lack of .. at the moment. I struggle getting things finished due to money, as I’m not money driven.. sadly though we do need money. So I reframe it more in my mind! I’m soooo ready inside! To record my album to put on my one woman show. But the funds no matter how many efforts made and risks taken have not appeared .. yet! Still time 🕰️

However I feel very much at peace here in Devon.. reflective.. and I can feel the huge healing power of nature all the time these days. It’s like my soul needs it to survive.

So far.. I’ve shared many special moments to keep.. met special people.. gone down the rabbit hole 🕳️.. as the Cheshire Cat heh heh .. making a beautiful home 🏠

Been in the mystical lands of Glastonbury.. Iv been studying what it is to be a therapist .. and with that much inner looking .. 👀 which is now going into a deeper phase.. as I close off one phase I felt to ..

..share an Excercise I did on phrases said to me when young that still stick in the mind.. made into a rather fetching T .. I guess an analogy as it’s the words you still feel you wear everyday .. from your youth. How they affect you now? How do they manifest..

Sharing my process 🍃

Society hasn’t done the best job gearing many humans up to really know what happiness is. Or how to parent.. or how to be a kind human being. That’s all a huge topic 😂 so I like to share snippets mixed in with some realness .. so the insta facade isn’t too strong. 🤣 as the learning is never over for anyone 🍃 no one’s life is perfect

Authenticity 🙏🏼🙏🏼 so needed in the digi world of comparison !.. we don’t need shiny things to be successful. It’s the simple things 🍃♥️

Love E x 🍃🐶

#process #healing #mentalhealthawareness #nature #bullying #parenting #thesimplethings #authenticity #nooneslifeisperfect #comparison

A montage of selftape auditions over ten years fro

A montage of selftape auditions over ten years from 27to 37!

To celebrate 🍾 10 years! ..Of putting myself out there for all this time, the countless rejections! With also booking amazing jobs over the years. Wether it’s an advert or film I’m grateful 🙏🏼

I’m so glad I followed acting, with sooo many telling me how competitive it was or how unlikely it would be to get somewhere with it, however I still stuck strong.

For me it was also about breaking out of my box, to become more free in myself, acting training taught me soo much, and it allowed me to break through early conditionings. I knew I needed to follow the path wherever it took me ..

Simply to be a more open and free version of myself is a gift in itself.

I had people tell me I’d make no money from it however.. for 7 years of it ( pre pandemic ) I made a great living that allowed me to have a dreamy lifestyle. And still now as it starts to resurface after everything I went through with health, the strikes, the pandemic, it still serves some magic 🪄 I love that you never know what opportunities will come your way ✨ some life changing!

However the instability when it’s not in a good flow is very challenging.. to say the least 😥 The way the world has changed has had a big impact too and now it has been much harder with self tapes being predominantly the main way to audition. Surrendering is the only way..

…you soon learn it really is a game of luck as well as talent.. looking at my old tapes makes me cringe to my core 😂 but really aww bless her! Giving it my best shot 🥹

Looking back I’m soo pleased I devoted myself to it and trained like I did. I wouldn’t be the person I am now. I genuinely feel that children / young adults, would greatly benefit from having this kind of training more integrated Into the ancient school curriculum.

Acting training is really about connection to yourself and others - endless learning 👌🏼🍃🍃🍃🍃

Important to keep coming back to not taking it soo seriously, have fun with it.

♥️

#actorslife #followyourdreams #selftapes #auditions

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